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http://touchesexy.blogs.com/
http://coquinscoquines.canalblog.com/
My girlfriend came down from Maine last weekend. God the sex was good. She had anal done for the first time. The second time around we did anal without a condom. Actually, she now has a UTI again, something she gets quite a lot. I guess that's what you get when you sleep around. I'm a little upset I didn't take any pictures of our ventures this weekend, but the next time she cums I definitely will. Actually, I do have pictures of us but I'll put them up some time in the future, probably after I edit out our faces. I used to have pictures of my old girlfriend, Lauren, but I think I deleted them. Stupid fits of compassion. |
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I've been thinking a lot about how my girlfriend asked me to punch her because she cheated on me. I don't know how I feel about this. I said that I didn't want to punch her while we were having sex, but I ended up strangling her and slapping her anyway. This of course, is all a part of play and emotional acts of forgiveness. Maybe, sexuality and relationships are tied to punishment in terms of being contracts. Maybe not, I hate speculation, but in any case, I couldn't bring myself to punch her. I remember how my mother used to be slapped around and she herself was even strangled. Is this all Oedipal? At what point would I really lose myself in rage? Do I only do that in the language I use? I stopped myself, I stopped myself out of respect and love for her even though I was more than justified in exacting and more than in a position and situation where it would have been appropriate to be aggressive. Why I stopped says something about me.
Also, I've been noticing that I may be a compulsive masturbator. I certainly do masturbate whenever I have the free time and this journal and my large collection of digital pornographic clips would be a testament to my obsession. However, it doesn't have too much of a frequency, it's not 4 to 5 times a day or even everyday. However, given the right time and place, I'll masturbate for as long as I want as much as I want, and for sex, this usually applies unless I'm upset or fatigued. |
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The first time I fooled around with any one, I was thirteen. The girls name was Nicole. I live above Nicole in this shitty apartment my uncle owned in Kingwood. The thing about Nicole was that she had big breasts and had some what of mental and social issues, so she was an easy target. Nicole would constantly wash her car in a bikini, and appearently, use her assests to get guys all around the block. So, one night when I was feeling a bit daring and tired of her teasing, I offered that we go outside and successfully sneak out. What this amounted to was me knocking on her window and her coming out in something like leopard print, climing over her mother's rose bushes. It didn't take much of my bullshit conversation before we were making out. However, it was this night that I chose to take things a bit farther than I'd ever gone before. I started to touch her breasts. This gave me the most intense hard on I think I've ever had. I explained all of this to her. How excited I was, how anxious, how I'd never done anything in a sexual manner with anyone. Suddenly, she pressing her hands on my dirty blonde hair and I was licking her tits and sucking on her nipples intensely. Eventually, our hands began to roam around. Me on her blonde bush through her leopard print and over-alls, and she jerking on my raging hard on. One interesting thing about Nicole is that she's the only girl I've ever fisted. I guess this was physical proof of why her mother hated her and always had to chase men off of her property. In any case, I don't think I got a blowjob from her that night, that was one thing she was uncomfortable doing most of the time, and I also never got the chance to fuck Nicole. She eventually got another boyfriend and she's now married with a kid, but I do remember both of us cumming hard that night on the front lawn as I suppose cars occasionally came by seeing our bodies entangled on the wet grass. One more thing I got out of Nicole, her cousin gave me a handjob right along with her. Four hands ... middle school really wasn't that bad on me. |
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Intro
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Oct. 3rd, 2005 @ 02:04 am
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This is a journal about my sexuality. In this, I'm going to chronicle all the experiences I've had. Also, I'm going to be talking about the minor fetishes or prediclictions of mine as well as my theories about sexuality and my own sexuality. In any case, I hope that I can use livejournal for its only productive use, wanking and thinking about wanking. |
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reifiedvideofet's journal